Why Do I Even Care?

Sometimes I think life would be easier if I do not care. Though I don't have many positive things to say about myself, there is one thing I can definitely say is a characteristic of mine, which is that I am loyal. I am a loyal friend. However, I am getting sick of caring and being loyal. People don't seem to realize that when they make bad decisions for themselves, they not only hurt themselves, but they also burden and hurt me. People don't consider these things. I feel so let down when people fall into traps, going against everything they stood for and strongly believed in for themselves. All for what? Instant gratification. They fail to consider the repercussions, and wave off second opinion. Their minds are fixated on the cheap prize, when the grand prize is a few miles ahead. And no matter what I say or do, my words fall onto deaf ears. I might as well be mute. Here I am, stressed about problems that are not my own, while the people in question obviously don't really give a shit.

Sometimes I am so sick of people, of their selfish behavior. Sometimes I am sick of their sheer stupidity. And sometimes I hate myself for even caring. Because those sometimes would be so much easier if I didn't.

I haven't felt this way in a long time

But I am angry at life.
I feel so stressed, and I cannot comprehend why. Why now?
Whatever.

Sometimes

My cat is so freaking cute! (excuse my awkward feet. I tried to get them out of the picture frame, and failed. Now I have a cute picture ruined by awkward feet).

Self-Deprecation

Sometimes I have those days where I think everyone hates me and thinks I'm annoying. Everything I say sounds so annoying to me. This was one of those weeks. I feel like every joke I made this week was irritating and offensive. I don't know why I am so self-deprecating this week. But I really don't like myself. Things that I said in jest was met by the stank eye that seemed to say, "What the heck? Why? Are you stupid? My God!" Then I think to myself, shoot, I shouldn't have said that and feel dumb for having said it. Don't you hate that feeling when you feel like you should just keep your mouth shut in case you make a fool out of yourself? Yup. That's me this week. I need a drink.

Jaded

How I feel doing stupid useless assignment, reading stupid useless articles and books, and listening to stupid, useless discussions in school: