I think it is far too commonly expressed by the media that sexual intercourse when two strangers or acquaintances are drunk or even when just one person is drunk that it is common, normal, and okay. Even when one of the persons involved feel regret and disgust after intercourse, it's just something she/he has to get over and it's a normal part of life. Because the truth of the matter is when alcohol is involved and an individual (or both individuals) is drunk, then he/she is not in the state to consent. Which means any sexual intercourse that occurs when someone is drunk is actually rape. People don't seem to know that. And they should, because it's not okay!
I fell upon this article. And it's titled "What EVERY GUY Must Know About Date Rape: A Date Rape Fact Sheet for Guys" by Mark Hardcastle. And this article is targeted to male teens. But I feel everybody should read this and become educated in this topic. Date rape is more common than you think. So before you go to a party looking to score, all the while knowing that drinking is involved, you'd better think twice. Here is the link to the article: http://teenadvice.about.com/od/daterape/a/daterapeguysfyi.htm
TL;DR For the lazy here are some things you should know that is highlighted in the article.
- Not stopping when she is indicating that she wants you to stop, be it with words, actions or both, is rape. If she seems hesitant don’t try to convince her to give in, just stop!
- Just because a girl has had sex with you in the past does not mean she has consented to having sex with you whenever you want it. Forcing the issue could result in you being charged with rape.
- Just because a girl is your girlfriend does not mean she owes you sex on demand. Push it when she doesn’t want it and you could be charged with rape.
- If you get a girl drunk or high and then get together with her you have committed a sexual assault. If you do this and then have sex with her it is rape.
- If you do not get a girl drunk or high but you know she is when you have sex you have committed rape.
- If you are unaware that a girl is drunk or high and you have sex with her you could be charged with rape.
- Even if you too are drunk or high when you have sex with a girl who is drunk or high you could be charged with rape. It is not a sufficient defense to say, “I was wasted too!”
"So another good rule to follow, don’t have sex with anybody you are not 100% certain is able to consent. In other words, don’t have sex with somebody you don’t know very well or have not spent most of your time with immediately before your sexual encounter." -Mark Hardcastle
Another thing you may want to read is "Common Myths About Rape". Article can be found HERE
The myths from the article are as follow:
When a girl says “no,” she really means “yes.” A lot of guys think a girl just says no because she’s supposed to – and that she can’t say that she wants sex even when she does. And that “no” is just the beginning of negotiating for a “yes”. But a guy doesn’t have the right to make up a girl’s mind for her, or to pressure her to agree.
Girls who get drunk at parties or on dates deserve whatever happens to them.
Getting drunk is not a good idea if you want to keep yourself safe, but it does not make it okay for a guy to take advantage of the situation. As a matter of fact, since rape is defined as sex without consent, having sex with someone who is drunk IS RAPE. By law, if a person is intoxicated or drugged, they do not have the ability to give consent.
If a girl wears sexy clothes on a date, it means she wants to have sex.
Girls often dress to look attractive for a date, but that doesn’t mean that they want to have sex with them (or anyone else, for that matter). It is impossible to determine what a girl wants to do – sex or any other activity – based on what clothes she is wearing.
Rape is sometimes the victim’s fault – in some circumstances.
It is NEVER, under ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, the victim’s fault. Without consent, freely given, a sexual act is rape, and it is against the law.
If a woman goes somewhere alone with a man that means she wants to have sex with him.
Sometimes it’s nice for a girl to be alone with her date. It’s easier to talk, and find out what the guy’s really like. They might want to see how they get along together without their friends around. This may even mean going in to a bedroom. But that doesn’t mean the girl wants to have sex – it only means that she wants to be alone with him.
If a guy spends a lot of money on a date, the girl “owes” him something in return.
People date because they like each other. They want to spend time together. Dating isn’t like a business deal. And sex is not something you pay for. A guy and a girl may have sex after a date. But it should be something they both want to enjoy with each other. (Sex with any individual under 18 years old is considered “statutory rape”, whether consent is given or not, and is against the law.)
The majority of reported rape incidents are false accusations. What’s to stop a girl changing her mind and saying it’s rape the next day?
It is very difficult for a victim of rape to come forward and report it, so it is extremely unlikely that reports of rape are false. As a matter of fact, FBI statistics say that false reporting of rape is like any other crime, approximately 2-4% of cases.
If a girl is flirting with a guy, that means she wants to “go all the way.”
Everybody likes to flirt. Half the fun of a date is flirting. And the reason you date is to see if you two like each other. But deciding whether you’ll have sex or not requires consent by both people. Consent is defined by the law as an agreement made without pressure, manipulation or intimidation. Otherwise, it’s rape.
