Guarded

I'm guarded. Perhaps this is a good thing. I'd like to think that it is, but I realize it may also be hurtful to me as well. I am aware that I do not trust people. I'll trust them up to a certain point, but I never expect them to be there for me. I do not expect people to go out of their way to do anything for me. When people do, I become incredibly overwhelmed by the gesture, because it goes so against what I expect from people (or should I say, what I DO NOT expect from people). I guess my guardedness is a way of protecting myself, or even protecting myself from the possibility of being disappointed. However, I think my guardedness can also prevent me from forming any sort of meaningful and strong friendships in my life. And those sort of things take risks. It's definitely a fleeting inner conflict that just happened to cross my mind today. I don't know what I'm going to do with myself. We'll see.