Lazy

I am feeling so lazy. It's so hard for me to feel motivated when a majority of my classes are crocks of shit. Today, Theology 2 felt like it was 10 hours long. I listened to music, watched videos, and all that jazz (stealthily, of course) and it still felt like a lifetime. That class sucked the life out of me. I hate it. That is all for my lamentations.

In the meantime enjoy pictures of my cat that I just took on my computer. The lighting is terrible. 

Humility is Key

I must admit, this semester isn't the best. I'm taking 7 classes. A majority of my classes (a tad more than the majority, to be brutally honest)suck balls. Most of them are a waste of my time. I did not pay good money to listen to philosophical vomit. But out of the 7 classes, there is one class I appreciate. In this class we learn to be with clients. Currently I am meeting with a client, who is a volunteer from an undergraduate Intro to Psychology course (they agree to go through therapy in order to get credit for class). I like my client a lot. If I wasn't her therapist, I would definitely be her friend. My first session with her was okay. At the time, I thought I did pretty well. My second session, was not so fantastic. I was humbled. I realized how little i knew, and I really felt inadequate. I actually started to become self-deprecating, which is something stupid that I tend to do. I started calling myself "trash" and legitimately worried that I would fail this course. Seriously, after just two sessions...I know, i was being a drama queen. But I wholeheartedly believed I was trash. I was not fishing for compliments or words of encouragement. My group, bless their souls, is made up wonderful people. They tried to affirm me, which I appreciated, but I didn't believe any of their encouraging words. I knew I sucked, and that was that. (Again, I have an annoying tendency of being ridiculously stubborn over stupid things). Every other week, I get feedback based on a video clip of my therapy session. After I got my feedback, I wasn't very happy. I was advised to say things I usually do not say. It made me uncomfortable, and I did not like that. What if my client thinks that I'm completely off base? What if my planned responses backfire? It worried me, but I knew I had to take risks and get over myself if I truly wanted to grow.

 I went into my third session a little worried, but I wasn't as nervous as I had been before my previous session. My third session, in my opinion, went better than the second. The instances that resonated in my head, however, were times where I was babbling, making no coherent sense whatsoever. By the end of the session, I thought things were picking up. To my surprise, my client said that this particular session was really good. I felt so encouraged. After our clients leave, we receive feedback. So I wanted in my chair, ready to hear a barrage of things I did wrong. I mentioned a few things I thought I did well, which were not many. Then I listed a bunch of things I thought I could have fixed. TO my surprise, again, my TA was very encouraging. Taking risks and staying calm worked. I am so excited to get better. Being rocked by my suckiness really made me look into myself and strive to become better. Don't get me wrong, I'm still worried that I will crash and burn when my next session comes around. However, I still greatly appreciate that sucking is part of the learning process. I'm excited to know what the future holds for me. I know I will get bloodied along the way, but it will be completely worth it if it makes me close to perfect. (how snobby did i sound at the very end? Very? Good, that was my intention.)

So Bored

I don't know what it is about me, but a reoccurring theme in my life has been regarding how bored I am all the freaking time. Maybe it's a sign that I need to make more friends and that I need to go out more, rather than spending an insane amount of time in front of my computer on a daily basis. It's pretty pathetic really if you consider how much time I spend on the computer. It's no wonder that I think I'm going blind. Anyway, I have decided i need more excitement in my life. I need a dash of pizazz. I should just sleep around, do some drugs, or engage in scandalous behavior to make my life a little more exciting. I joke, slightly. But on a more serious note...I'm bored of being bored! HELP!

Cellos Give Me Eargasms

I have recently been getting really into cellos. I have always enjoyed the timbre of the cellos, but I didn't know how into it I was. I think the cello is really sensual. Man, it gives me eargasms and it turns me on. I kid you not. Yeah, I know...But I suppose eggs, cheese, cellos, and chocolate are the keys to my heart. Here are some videos I have discovered which are just fantastic. Enjoy.


So Sexy.

Psychologists Are So Full of It

I didn't understand why people thought psychologists were so full of shit sometimes. Psychologists are here to help people. That is almost always true. However, I realized today that sometimes the way psychologists go about doing their business can make them so annoying and full of shit. First of all, they have to tendency to look too much into things. Damn straight. Today in class, students shared stories about their volunteer clients. The professor, even though he had never sit-in in the session and was hearing subjective views of what had occurred during session, spewed out all of his interpretations and associations. Sometimes even after one sentence into the story, he would declare that the client as anxious. I mean, are you freaking kidding me? You don't even know what the client is like and based on one little thing, you think you know the underlying problem of the client? Don't get me wrong, but he was on point on some of the things, only because it was blatantly obvious from the presented content. But I call bullshit. I am not trying to be a know-it-all student. I want to learn, but if you're going to be shoveling nonsensical bullshit that boosts the professor's image as a know-all, then I'm not going to be a drone and swallow all of it up. I mean, sure, he may be good. But nobody is mind reader good. Maybe if he watched one session, I'd take his claims seriously. So dumb.

Day....??? I lost track

I lost track of the days. I will just accept the fact that I failed at this project.

Meanwhile, enjoy a picture.

Day 48: She responded

The prof responded. She said that the email sent through my school email as the first one received. Quite strange...considering I used my gmail email to email several professors and received prompt replies. Anyway, for the time being, i will take her word for it and assume my hotmail and gmail emails ended up in her spam somehow. So, I will hear about my grade next week. She better have some good reason as to why i got a B-, a VERY good reason.